The Haystack

Lore & Background

The Haystack is the first area players encounter after the game's opening cutscene, where Conker awakens from a hangover. It is a sunny, pastoral farmstead with a large haystack, a scarecrow, and a fence. Despite its cheerful appearance, the area subtly introduces the game's tone through environmental details, such as a sign warning of 'The Great Mighty Poo' and a nearby barn that houses a drunken, abusive bullfrog named Buga the Knut. The Haystack is also where Conker can save his progress at a typewriter, a recurring mechanic throughout the game. The scarecrow, when spoken to, offers cryptic, fourth-wall-breaking advice that hints at the absurdity ahead—like suggesting Conker try to 'find the fairy' before the game even introduces one.

In Their Own Story

Conker stumbled out of the bar, his head pounding. The sun was too bright, the birds too loud. He squinted at the haystack, a golden monolith in the middle of the field. 'Right,' he muttered, 'first, find a way home. Second, never drink again.' A nearby sign creaked in the wind, its faded letters reading 'Beware of Bullfrog.' Conker ignored it, hopping over the fence toward the barn. The smell of manure and stale beer hung in the air. This was not going to be a good day. He paused by the typewriter, its ribbon stained with what looked suspiciously like dried blood, and jammed a paw on the space bar. The machine clacked to life, saving his sorry hide for the next disaster.

Reader's Guide

The Haystack is a small, open area. The central haystack is climbable, offering a vantage point of the surrounding fields. A path leads to the Windmill (the game's first proper level), while another leads to the Barn, home of Buga the Knut. A third path leads to the Spooky Mansion, but it's locked early on. The area contains a few breakable crates with minor items, but no major secrets. Environmental hazards are minimal, though Buga the Knut will attack if Conker gets too close to the barn—his drunken bellows and thrown bottles make for a nasty surprise. The tone is set by the contrast between the sunny farm and the crude dialogue of NPCs like the Scarecrow, who offers cryptic advice. The typewriter save point is near the starting point, making this a safe hub for experimentation, though the scarecrow's ramblings about 'the great poo' might leave you wondering if you've already lost your mind.

Did You Know?

• The Haystack is one of the few areas in *Conker's Bad Fur Day* that does not feature any direct combat or platforming challenges.
• The Scarecrow in the Haystack is voiced by Chris Seavor, the game's director and lead designer.
• The typewriter save mechanic in the Haystack is a parody of the save system in classic survival horror games like *Resident Evil*.